


Idea of Us

by ShellyNelsonLahey



Category: The Society (TV 2019)
Genre: Grisam, Grizzam, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-17
Updated: 2019-05-17
Packaged: 2020-03-06 23:22:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18861028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShellyNelsonLahey/pseuds/ShellyNelsonLahey
Summary: “Do you actually like me, or do you just like the idea of us?”Grizz and Sam were heartbroken. Grizz had found out about Sam being the father of Becca’s baby, and ultimately he felt used. Sam is desperate to make it up to him, so he stands before the boy in his room, hoping that he could walk out with a smile knowing he and Grizz were left in a good place. Except… that may be what he imagines in his head, but it is far from reality.





	Idea of Us

**Author's Note:**

> I am legit obsessed with these boys (as if you couldn’t tell, because this is my third drabble of them using the sentence prompts I’ve collected) and uhhhhhhhh enjoy this sad one! The prompt sentences were “do you actually like me, or do you just like the idea of us” and “please don’t tell me to go” because I clearly want to bawl my eyes out. ANYWAYS. ENJOY.

Grizz Visser stared up at the bland, cotton white ceiling with his hands folded behind his long, dark brown hair. He shifted uncomfortably, despising the feel of the plaid blue blanket just barely dangling over his left leg and the edge of the bed—he didn’t want anything to touch him right now. He was upset, and normally he would curl up into a ball and cover himself with his blanket, but right now that was the last thing he wanted. He just wanted to lay there, numb and heartbroken; when he had to step through those doors again, any sign of weakness would incite questions from Allie or Gordie or Harry, and if not that, the other members of the Guard, the football players, would make fun of him for “acting like a girl” and wallowing in his emotions. In order to keep this place intact, he couldn’t let that happen.

Kicking the blanket off of his body, he closed his eyes and let out an exasperated sigh as he heard the soft thump of the blanket pile onto the chocolate carpet. The feeling he got when laying on his bed without a blanket on top of him was odd—something about it felt weird, almost wrong, and the cool air that glided across the hairs on his arms and legs didn’t help. A shivering jolt ran over his skin, but as soon as it had come, it left, and he went back to finding shapes in the orange peel ceiling.

The only thing running through his mind was Sam. Last night, Grizz had found out that Sam was the father of Becca’s baby. That would have been completely fine with him if they hadn’t of had sex just hours before—now he felt confused, and hurt, and almost like he was used. He hated that feeling so much, it made him want to throw up. However, laying down on his bed kept his churching stomach at bay, at least for right now.

Grizz wondered if there was anybody else trapped here that even remotely liked guys. He was finally allowing himself to truly be who he had always wanted to be—before they got stuck in this peculiar alternate universe, he was going to leave West Ham and come out at college, but since he was stuck here in New Ham he had decided that he wasn’t going to pretend anymore. He knew that simply being with another man didn’t dictate whether you were gay or not, and by not being with Sam, he would still be gay, but after all these years pretending to be into women and partying with the football players, he despised himself for thinking that he was desperate to be with someone, another guy, and it didn’t help that he genuinely wanted to be with Sam. But he couldn’t. He was the father of Becca’s baby, and it would be selfish of him to wedge himself in between Sam and Becca, and soon enough, Becca’s baby.

The creak of the bedroom door cut Grizz’s frantic thoughts, and the comfortable silence in the air. He didn’t want to see who it was, so his eyes remained glued on the ceiling. Whoever it was knocked on the wall to announce their presence, and on instinct, Grizz flickered his gaze down to meet Sam’s watery blue eyes. Grizz scoffed under his breath, thankful that Sam seemed almost as hurt as he was. “What are you doing here?”

Sam gulped harshly, opening his mouth to speak but having no words come out. He tried again, although this time signing along so his brain would register the fact that he had to talk or else Grizz wouldn’t understand him. “I wanted to see you.”

“Well, you saw me.” Grizz groaned while he adjusted his position on his bed, leaning up against the wall and wrapping his arms around his knees. “Now go.”

“You have to know that I really like you,” Sam whimpered in the doorway, his feet refusing to take any steps farther because his body knew that if he did, he would break down. “I’m sorry you had to find out that way, but—”

Grizz shook his head, refusing to listen to any excuse that Sam had spewed out as hot angry tears began to roll down his cheeks. Sam’s voice fell and his hands dropped back to his sides. He couldn’t believe he was thinking this about the boy he liked and cared for, but all his life, Grizz had dealt with people who had used him for whatever they wanted. Friendship, sex, survival tips—it didn’t manner in which way, it’s just how humans were because they only cared about themselves.

“Do you actually like me, or do you just like the idea of us?” Grizz asked, damning his voice for shaking. Sam might not have been able to hear it, but knowing Sam, his sight was impeccable when it came to expressions and movements. His voice might have quavered, but he knew that Sam would still be able to recognize just how much asking this question fucked him up.

Sam’s mouth dropped, and his red eyes glazed with water. “How could you say that? How could you even think that?”

“Can you blame me? We have sex, and an hour later I find out that you’re a fucking father?” Grizz shook his head angrily in disbelief. “I feel so used, Sam. You hurt me.”

Sam made an “A” sign with hand, and rubbed his fist over his chest in a clockwise motion. He had taught Grizz that it meant “i’m sorry” or “apologize” so he didn’t have to say anything.

“You can say you’re sorry, but it doesn’t change the fact that you are the one who hurt me. Someone I started to care for, someone I began to like,” Grizz spat, “just get out, please…”

When a tear rolled down Sam’s tender cheek, Grizz looked away, not wanting his resolve to dissipate.

“Please, don’t make me leave,” Sam begged, “please…”

“Go away, Sam!” Grizz shouted, “get out, leave!”

Sam sniffled, not wanting to leave, especially leaving things like this, but he obeyed the boy’s wishes, and looked down at the floor before he spun around and slugged out of the house.

Both boys were overridden with multiple emotions—they were hurting, and angry, and disappointed, and the only thing that could fix it was each other. But in their current state of minds, their stubborness, neither were ready to talk to one another for the sake of fixing things. Not yet. But, maybe someday soon, they would. They couldn’t avoid each other forever—they were trapped here in New Ham. Eventually, they would have to make up whether they wanted to or not, and knowing how close Allie was to Grizz, it might not even be their choice of when or how it happens.

Still, Sam and Grizz would have to dig deep inside of themselves and think about what they want in themselves, and each other, and hope that the both choose to include the other in their lives. All that could be done right now is to allow space, time to think. And, hopefully, life would find a way to bring these two back together again.


End file.
